Oh, to be a newbie again

Go ahead and play that video up there; there are no spoken words in the song it links to, so it shouldn't distract you as you read this post. Of course, for the full effect, it's best to just play it and close your eyes. Do you recognize that music? You should if you started playing before Burning Crusade was released. It's the music that played on the original log-in screen of World of Warcraft, when WoW was just WoW. I listed to that music recently, and I got the usual nostalgic jitters that I get when I listen to or watch something that I loved that I haven't seen or heard in a while. But something more than jitters overcame me that day. I was flooded with something similar to memories, but rather than a single flashback to a single event, I instead felt a certain sense. It was that sense of wonder I felt when I first started playing WoW.

Maybe you remember it, too: the time when you first started playing WoW, and everything was a new experience. It's hard for me to describe it, because, like I said, it wasn't a single memory that overcame me that day, but a sensation. The sensation I felt when all of the quests I was doing, all of the dungeons I was running, were all new. When I could walk into the next zone and literally had no idea what would be there to great me, aside form a scant few descriptions I had seen in general chat. When I took skinning and leatherworking because it was what I thought would be the best choice, not what others had told me would be the most beneficial in the leveling process. When I chose to level as Feral Combat because I thought it would be the most fun, in spite of all of the anti-feral sentiment that existed at the time (this was back when only warriors could tank).

Of course, I'm not one to wear rose-tinted glasses, and there are things that I regret about that time. I regret limiting myself to one quest at a time (my thinking at the time being that I would be better able to focus on that quest if I only had one). I regret selling my ore and leather to vendors (I thought that was how you made money with those professions; I wasn't aware of the existence of the auction house at the time). I regret staying in one zone without moving around when I ran out of quests, choosing instead to grind enemies until I was of a high enough level to do the quests I had. But these were all understandable newbie mistakes, and who doesn't have a few of those in their memory banks? We all did stupid things when we started playing the game, and only experience can teach us the error of our ways. Therein, however, lies the problem.

The loss of newbie astonishment is quite similar to the fabled loss of childhood innocence, an idea about which plenty of media has been made. In the case of the loss of childhood innocence, we (supposedly) gain knowledge about the world through our experience, but trade off the optimism of our youthful ignorance of all that is bad in the world. Of course, playing WoW isn't as bleak of a prospect as simply living in the real world, but in WoW, we still trade off our amazement at everything we experience in exchange for the knowledge that comes from experiencing that content. It's a trade off we all have to make eventually, in every game we play, if we enjoy it enough to play it again, and I certainly enjoyed leveling my druid enough to level more characters through the game again.

But it will never be the same. I now take only gathering professions on my alts, rather than a crafting profession that might add some depth to the experience, not only because I now know that to be the most efficient option (so I don't need to support my alt with donations from my main), but also because my experience has shown me that I rarely stick with an alt long enough to make it worth it to put that amount of dedication into leveling his profession. I am similarly jaded about raiding and PvP. When I first went into a battleground, the novelty was what captivated me, for fighting players--as opposed to computer controlled enemies--was completely new to me. After some time, though, once the novelty started to wear off, I realized I just wasn't cut out for PvP. I wasn't competitive enough, and hated dying as frequently as I did when I first started out, so needing to inflict that experience on other players in order to win left a bad taste in my mouth. My experiences with raiding have been similar. Though my first few raids were a fun experience, after some time, the novelty soon gave way to frustration with the constant wipes inherent in progression raiding, the monotony inherent in non-progression raiding, and the pressure to be at the top of my game and to not mess up inherent in both.

The PvP and raiding examples I mentioned may seem like me simply exchanging my former optimism for pessimism and focus on the negative, as seems to happen with the loss of childhood innocence, but it is really a case of the novelty of those experiences preventing me from noticing the things I didn't like about them. Once that novelty wore off, it was clear that raiding and PvP weren't for me. Losing the novelty of leveling, on the other hand, was different experience for me, because after the novelty wore off, I was still able to find things to enjoy about the leveling process.

So what was the difference between leveling before the novelty wore off and leveling after? It seems to me that the commonality between all of the contrasts between my nostalgia for the first time I leveled through Azeroth and my current experiences is concern. I take two gathering professions instead of a gathering profession and a crafting profession because I'm concerned about having enough money to make my alt self-sufficient. I take multiple quests at once and do them all in one go because I'm concerned about leveling efficiently. I don't grind anymore because I know it's simply not as efficient as questing (and yes, I do miss grinding). The things I used to do and enjoy are now things I shy away from because experience has taught me not to do them.

Would I still enjoy them if I were to ignore my experience and do something considered newbish? Probably. Would taking one quest at a time, grinding every once in a while, or taking a crafting profession on my alt diminish my enjoyment of the game? Theoretically, it shouldn't. After all, I used to enjoy the game in spite of doing those things. And yet, when I consider doing them now, I am hesitant because my experience leads me to believe that I will enjoy the game more by avoiding grinding or taking multiple quests at a time or taking two gathering professions.

Herein lies the greatest irony of the issue of newbish amazement: as we gain experience with the game, we think we become better at figuring out what will make the game more fun for us, but even if we do, we stop considering things we once found fun to be enjoyable. As much as I want to confidently say that doing multiple quests at once is always more fun than doing one at a time, that leveling an alt with two gathering professions is always more fun than doing so with a gathering and a crafting profession, and that questing is always more fun than grinding, I can't. I can't, because when I think back to how much fun I used to have while doing things the "inferior" way, I realize that the game was no less fun then than it is now; in fact, it may have been more fun. Of course, I may just be looking back with rose-tinted glasses and reminiscing about enjoying those ways of playing simply because I wasn't aware that better ways exist. Maybe the way I play the game now really is the "best" way, and I'm just getting bored with it because it's the only way I play, so there isn't much variety. It's really not possible to know.

I can't really find a satisfactory way to end this post, so let me just leave you with a song by Evanescence about the loss of childhood innocence; I think it fits the theme of this post well.